I often wonder how many men and women in the Western World are afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. And, I wonder how many men, women, and children have suffered to the point of having their lives ruined because, in general our society has failed to recognize or understand this serious social plague. We tend to think of narcissists as people with egos that drive them to successful careers or are obsessed with popularity. But, narcissism is different from the NPD. Anybody with self-esteem probably has narcissistic traits but the disordered narcissist is dangerous. He or she is obsessed with their own grandiosity and the need to receive adoration. Their entire life and set of beliefs is a house of cards and if the delusional house is disrupted the distorted narcissist is liable to go into what is referred to as a “Narcissistic Rage.” Disordered narcissists are dangerous. They are dangerous physically and they are extremely dangerous emotionally. They are most dangerous when their disorder affects their own family. When a child is caught in a narcissistic relationship with a parent the child is likely to be victimized by the narcissist who uses the child to seek revenge against the other parent.
I wrote “Tears In The Rain” because I had no alternative but to stand by helplessly and watch my stepchild abandon her mother at the age of fourteen. She was victimized by a ten year vendetta her father waged against her mother seeking revenge against the woman who caught him cheating. In retrospect it is crystal clear to me how he manipulated his own daughter to terminate her relationship with her mother and become extremely vitriolic and eventually remove herself completely from her mother’s life. If I knew then what I know now I could have stopped it. I failed, but I hope this book will help others succeed. I am convinced in many cases Parental Alienation can be prevented if it is recognized early enough by trained professionals.
What I failed to understand is that this man with a personality disorder is completely lacking empathy and is willing to sacrifice his own child to inflict revenge. Logic, reason, and compassion are beyond the ability of a disordered narcissist. People afflicted with NPD are incapable of empathy for their victims. They only experience hate and a complete lack of self-esteem. Everything they do is aimed at protecting their carefully constructed self-delusions. They cover their disorder but they are fragile and can be dangerously explosive when their balloon is popped.
I hope this book will help people understand the often subtle manipulation that occurs early enough to intervene and save their child.
There are many, many books on the market written by professionals to help victims and other professionals understand Parental Alienation and possibly narcissism. Most tend to be fairly technical and inaccessible to most victims. “Tears In The Rain” is a novel and is well researched. But, I hope in addition to being informative it is a good read.
The book is a fictionalized account of Parental Alienation driven by a man with narcissistic personality disorder. His target is his ex-wife who he hopes to hurt her in the worst way- by stealing her daughter and removing her from her mother’s life. The story begins with the girl’s attempted suicide when she realizes she has been cruelly manipulated and emotionally abused most of her life. It is also the story of a forensic psychologist who recognizes the involved family dynamic and attempts to rescue the teen and force the legal community and Family Court to recognize the issue and bring criminal charges.
I began this blog in an attempt to make this serious problem more widely recognized. Please contribute your story and your successes and failures with the courts and mental health professionals. Any suggestions will be welcome.
Please add upcoming events more any media available that could help.
Also, please read Chapter 1 by clicking on the page in the menu to the right of the page.